Alone but not Lonely.

 

Choosing to be alone doesn’t mean choosing to be lonely.

Some of the loneliest times I’ve felt in my life were in a relationship that wasn’t right for me. Since being single I can honestly say that I’ve never felt that lonely again. There’s something about society, fairy tales and romcoms that brainwash us into thinking we need a significant other in order to feel happy, content, complete even; but that really isn’t the case. So your best mate has met their ‘soulmate’ and they’re happy? Good for them, but just because that’s what everyone else is doing around us doesn’t mean that we have to settle for less than our worth. I feel like over the last year whilst rebuilding and regrouping, my bullshit tolerance barometer self-combusted and I now choose myself every time. Does that make me selfish? No. You have to live with you, you never have to see that fuck boy, who it breaks your heart to cut off, ever again.

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that gradually sees you cut off almost everyone around you? The island I call it. Perhaps your family don’t approve of your choice of partner, or your partner doesn’t approve of your choice of friends – there is literally no isolation like that of feeling trapped in the wrong relationship. Yet I clung on for months of misery because this was it, right? I’d fallen madly in love, I was starting to get invites to weddings, this was the next step of my life, I just have to make it work. Noooooooooooooooooooooo. If I NEVER meet someone but I no longer have to fake smiles in between breakdowns throughout the day – I’ve won at life my friends.

I think when you become wrapped up in a relationship, it can seem like the most daunting thing in the world to ever be on your own again. But when it’s a toxic relationship, you already mastered being alone – no wintery nights in a bed you don’t share with anyone will ever feel as bad as fighting a lost cause. Because you have the freedom for each day to be yours – nobody else’s. The world is your oyster, when you’ve had the confidence to choose yourself.